CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home dur ing my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television. "

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins. 

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to poi nt the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we p oint one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too. 

Trust

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to   suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity   may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.   She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She   repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to   cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if &n bsp; the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB". 

The Lord of Ice

HERES SOMETHIN TO LAUGH AND ENJOY...HAVE A GREAT DAY AND BE IT BLESsED WITH WONDERFUL EVENTS....

A guy decided he needed something new and different for a winter hobby.

He went to the bookstore and bought every book he could find on ice

fishing. For weeks he read and studied every book, hoping to become an

expert in the field. Finally, he decided he knew enough, and out he went

for his first ice fishing trip. He carefully gathered up and packed all

the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment

had its own special place in his kit.

When he got to the ice, he found a quiet little area, placed his padded

stool, and carefully laid out his tools. Just as he was about to make his

first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed.

"There are no fish under the ice!"

Startled, he grabbed all his belongings, moved further along the

ice, poured some hot chocolate from his thermos, and started to cut a new

hole.

Again, the voice from above bellowed. "There are no fish under the ice!"

Amazed, he wasn't quite sure what to do, as this certainly wasn't

covered in any of his books. He packed up his gear and moved to the far

side of the ice. Once there, he stopped for a few moments to regain his

calm. Then he was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly --

tools in the right place, chair positioned just so, everything.

The voice came again, "There are no fish under the ice!"

Petrified, he looked skyward and asked "Is that you, Lord?"

The voice boomed back, "No, this is the Manager of the skating rink!"

Attitude

There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'I think I'll braid my hair today.'

So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

'H-M-M,' she said,

'I think I'll part my hair down the middle today.'

So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed
that she had only one hair on her head.
'Well,' she said, 'today I'm going
to wear my hair in a pony tail.'
So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up,

looked in the mirror and noticed

that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

'YAY!' she exclaimed.

'I don't have to fix my hair today!'

Attitude is everything.

Be kinder than necessary,

for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

You Gotta' Understand Malaysian Politics For This

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the easiest patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from Singapore, says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered'

The second, from Bangkok, responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded..'

The third surgeon, from Bejing says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'

The fourth surgeon, from Jarkarta , chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers..... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'

But the fifth surgeon, from KL , shut them all up when he observed:
'You're all wrong. Politicians from Malaysia UMNO are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the arse are interchangeable.'

Chinese Jews

Oscar Weil and Benjamin Oppenheimer are Jews, and were sitting in a Chinese restaurant in Shanghai . 

"Oscar," asked Benjie, "Are there any Jews in China ?" 

"I don't know," Oscar replied. 

"Why don't we ask the waiter?" 

When the waiter came by, Benjie asked him, "Are there any Chinese Jews here in Shanghai ?" 

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. 

He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews." 

"Are you sure?" Benjie asked. 

"I will check again, sir" the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. 

While he was still gone, Oscar said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China , our people are scattered everywhere." 

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."  

"Are you really sure?" Benjie asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews." 

"Sir, I asked everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, apple Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese Jews! If you want, we have Chinese Tea.

Doctor Shigeaki Hinohara, An Elder Advises

At the age of 97 years and 4 months, Shigeaki Hinohara is one of the world's longest-serving physicians and educators. Hinohara's magic touch is legendary: Since 1941 he has been healing patients at St. Luke's International Hospital in Tokyo and teaching at St. Luke's College of Nursing. After World War II, he envisioned a world-class hospital and college springing from the ruins of Tokyo; thanks to his pioneering spirit and business savvy, the doctor turned these institutions into the nation's top medical facility and nursing school. Today he serves as chairman of the board of trustees at both organizations. Always willing to try new things, he has published around 150 books since his 75th birthday, including one "Living Long, Living Good" that has sold more than 1.2 million copies. As the founder of the New Elderly Movement, Hinohara encourages others to live a long and happy life, a quest in which no role model is better than the doctor himself.

Energy comes from feeling good, not from eating well or sleeping a lot. We all remember how as children, when we were having fun, we often forgot to eat or sleep. I believe that we can keep that attitude as adults, too. It's best not to tire the body with too many rules such as lunchtime and bedtime.

All people who live long regardless of nationality, race or gender   share one thing in common: None are overweight... For breakfast I drink coffee, a glass of milk and some orange juice with a tablespoon of olive oil in it. Olive oil is great for the arteries and keeps my skin healthy. Lunch is milk and a few cookies, or nothing when I am too busy to eat. I never get hungry because I focus on my work.. Dinner is veggies, a bit of fish and rice, and, twice a week, 100 grams of lean meat...

Always plan ahead. My schedule book is already full until 2014, with lectures and my usual hospital work. In 2016 I'll have some fun, though: I plan to attend the Tokyo Olympics!

There is no need to ever retire, but if one must, it should be a lot later than 65. The current retirement age was set at 65 half a century ago, when the average life-expectancy in Japan was 68 years and only 125 Japanese were over 100 years old. Today, Japanese women live to be around 86 and men 80, and we have 36,000 centenarians in our country. In 20 years we will have about 50,000 people over the age of 100...

Share what you know. I give 150 lectures a year, some for 100 elementary-school children, others for 4,500 business people. I usually speak for 60 to 90 minutes, standing, to stay strong.

When a doctor recommends you take a test or have some surgery, ask whether the doctor would suggest that his or her spouse or children go through such a procedure. Contrary to popular belief, doctors can't cure everyone. So why cause unnecessary pain with surgery  I think music and animal therapy can help more than most doctors imagine.

To stay healthy, always take the stairs and carry your own stuff. I take two stairs at a time, to get my muscles moving.

My inspiration is Robert Browning's poem "Abt Vogler." My father used to read it to me. It encourages us to make big art, not small scribbles. It says to try to draw a circle so huge that there is no way we can finish it while we are alive. All we see is an arch; the rest is beyond our vision but it is there in the distance.

Pain is mysterious, and having fun is the best way to forget it. If a child has a toothache, and you start playing a game together, he or she immediately forgets the pain. Hospitals must cater to the basic need of patients: We all want to have fun. At St. Luke's we have music and animal therapies, and art classes.

Don't be crazy about amassing material things. Remember: You don't know when your number is up, and you can't take it with you to the next place.

Hospitals must be designed and prepared for major disasters, and they must accept every patient who appears at their doors. We designed St..... Luke's so we can operate anywhere: in the basement, in the corridors, in the chapel. Most people thought I was crazy to prepare for a catastrophe, but on March 20, 1995, I was unfortunately proven right when members of the Aum Shinrikyu religious cult launched a terrorist attack in the Tokyo subway. We accepted 740 victims and in two hours figured out that it was sarin gas that had hit them. Sadly we lost one person, but we saved 739 lives.

Science alone can't cure or help people. Science lumps us all together, but illness is individual. Each person is unique, and diseases are connected to their hearts. To know the illness and help people, we need liberal and visual arts, not just medical ones.

Life is filled with incidents. On March 31, 1970, when I was 59 years old, I boarded the Yodogo, a flight from Tokyo to Fukuoka. It was a beautiful sunny morning, and as Mount Fuji came into sight, the plane was hijacked by the Japanese Communist League-Red Army Faction. I spent the next four days handcuffed to my seat in 40-degree heat. As a doctor, I looked at it all as an experiment and was amazed at how the body slowed down in a crisis.

Find a role model and aim to achieve even more than they could ever do. My father went to the United States in 1900 to study at DukeUniversity in North Carolina. He was a pioneer and one of my heroes. Later I found a few more life guides, and when I am stuck, I ask myself how they would deal with the problem.

It's wonderful to live long. Until one is 60 years old, it is easy to work for one's family and to achieve one's goals. But in our later years, we should strive to contribute to society. Since the age of 65, I have worked as a volunteer. I still put in 18 hours seven days a week and love every minute of it.

IN APPRECIATION OF MOTHERS

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired, and it's 

getting late. I think I'll go to bed." 

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's 

lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, checked the cereal box 

levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the 

table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning. 

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes 

into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She 

picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on 

the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She 

watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to 

dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. 

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted 

out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from 

hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, 

addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the 

grocery store. She put both near her bag. 

Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night 

Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth 

and filed her nails. 

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed." 

"I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish 

and let the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and 

the patio light was on. She looked in on each of the kids and 

turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw 

some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation 

with the one up still doing homework. 

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next 

day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 

6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and 

visualized the accomplishment of her goals. 

About that time, Dad turned off the TV 

and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed." And he 

did...without another thought. 

A Lawyer Joke, if you don't mind!

 A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but

 halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money.

 He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern

 education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane

 That will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk.'

 'That's amazing!' his Dad says. 'How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?'

 'Just send him down here with $2,000,' the young jackaroo says, 'I'll get him in the course.'

 So ... his father sends the dog and $2,000.

 About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The

 boy calls home. 'So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?' his father wants to know.

 'Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm. But you just won't believe

 this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to

 teach the animals how to read.'

 'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?'

 'Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class.'

 The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of

 the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.

 So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his

 father is all excited.

 'Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!'

 'Dad,' the boy says, 'I have some grim news.

 Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in

 the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street

 Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy

 still messing around with that little redhead barmaid at the pub?''

 The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot that bastard before he

 talks to your Mother!'

 'I sure did, Dad!'

 'That's my boy!'

 The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.

A Hindu's Point of View

Four years ago, I was flying from JFK NY Airport to SFO to attend a meeting at Monterey , CA An American girl was sitting on the right side, near  window seat. It indeed was a long journey - it would take nearly seven hours.  

 
 I was surprised to see the young girl reading a Bible unusual of young Americans. After some time she smiled and we had few acquaintances talk. I told her that I am from India. Then suddenly the girl asked: 'What's your faith?' 'What?' I didn't understand the question.
 
 'I mean, what's your religion? Are you a Christian? Or a Muslim?'
 
 'No!' I replied, 'I am neither Christian nor Muslim'.
 
 Apparently she appeared shocked to listen to that. 'Then who are you?' 'I am a Hindu', I said.
 
 She looked at me as if she was seeing a caged animal. She could not understand what I was talking about.
 
 A common man in Europe or US knows about Christianity and Islam, as they are the leading religions of the world today. But a Hindu, what?
 
 I explained to her - I am born to a Hindu father and Hindu mother. Therefore, I am a Hindu by birth.
 
 'Who is your prophet?' she asked.
 
 'We don't have a prophet,' I replied.
 
 'What's your Holy Book?'
 
 'We don't have a single Holy Book, but we have hundreds and thousands of philosophical and sacred scriptures,' I replied.
 
 'Oh, come on at least tell me who is your God?'
 
 'What do you mean by that?'

 'Like we have Jesus and Muslims have Allah - don't you have a God?'

 I thought for a moment. Muslims and Christians believe one God (Male God) who created the world and takes an interest in the humans who inhabit it. Her mind is conditioned with that kind of belief.
 
 According to her (or anybody who doesn't know about Hinduism), a religion needs to have one Prophet, one Holy book and one God. The mind is so conditioned and rigidly narrowed down to such a notion that anything else is not acceptable. I understood her perception and concept about faith. You can't compare Hinduism with any of the present leading religions where you have to believe in one concept of god.
 
 I tried to explain to her: 'You can believe in one god and he can be a Hindu. You may believe in multiple deities and still you can be a Hindu. What's more - you may not believe in god at all, still you can be a Hindu. An atheist can also be a Hindu.'
 
 This sounded very crazy to her. She couldn't imagine a religion so unorganized, still surviving for thousands of years, even after onslaught from foreign forces.
 
 'I don't understand but it seems very interesting. Are you religious?' What can I tell to this American girl?
 
 I said: 'I do not go to temple regularly. I do not make any regular rituals. I have learned some of the rituals in my younger days. I still enjoy doing it sometimes..'
 
 'Enjoy? Are you not afraid of God?'
 
 'God is a friend. No- I am not afraid of God. Nobody has made any compulsions on me to perform these rituals regularly.'
 
 She thought for a while and then asked: 'Have you ever thought of converting to any other religion?'
 
 'Why should I? Even if I challenge some of the rituals and faith in Hinduism, nobody can convert me from Hinduism. Because, being a Hindu allows me to think independently and objectively, without conditioning. I remain as a Hindu never by force, but choice.' I told her that Hinduism is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and practices. It is not a religion like Christianity or Islam because it is not founded by any one person or does not have an organized controlling body like the Church or the Order, I added. There is no institution or authority.
 
 'So, you don't believe in God?' she wanted everything in black and white.
 
 'I didn't say that. I do not discard the divine reality. Our scripture, or Sruthis or Smrithis - Vedas and Upanishads or the Gita - say God might be there or he might not be there. But we pray to that supreme abstract authority (Para Brahma) that is the creator of this universe.'
 
 'Why can't you believe in one personal God?'
 
 'We have a concept - abstract - not a personal god. The concept or notion of a personal God, hiding behind the clouds of secrecy, telling us irrational stories through few men whom he sends as messengers, demanding us to worship him or punish us, does not make sense. I don't think that God is as silly as an autocratic emperor who wants others to respect him or fear him.' I told her that such notions are just fancies of less educated human imagination and fallacies, adding that generally ethnic religious practitioners in Hinduism believe in personal gods. The entry level Hinduism has over-whelming superstitions too. The philosophical side of Hinduism negates all superstitions.
 
 'Good that you agree God might exist. You told that you pray. What is your prayer then?'
 
 'Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,'
 
 'Funny,' she laughed, 'What does it mean?'
 
 'May all the beings in all the worlds be happy. Om Peace, Peace, Peace.'
 
 'Hmm ..very interesting. I want to learn more about this religion. It is so democratic, broad-minded and free' she exclaimed.
 
 'The fact is Hinduism is a religion of the individual, for the individual and by the individual with its roots in the Vedas and the Bhagavad-Gita. It is all about an individual approaching a personal God in an individual way according to his temperament and inner evolution - it is as simple as that.'
 
 'How does anybody convert to Hinduism?'
 
 'Nobody can convert you to Hinduism, because it is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and practices. Everything is acceptable in Hinduism because there is no single authority or organization either to accept it or to reject it or to oppose it on behalf of Hinduism.'
 
 I told her - if you look for meaning in life, don't look for it in religions; don't go from one cult to another or from one guru to the next.  

 For a real seeker, I told her, the Bible itself gives guidelines when it says ' Kingdom of God is within you.' I reminded her of Christ's teaching about the love that we have for each other. That is where you can find the meaning of life.
 
 Loving each and every creation of the God is absolute and real. 'Isavasyam idam sarvam' Isam (the God) is present (inhabits) here everywhere – nothing exists separate from the God, because God is present everywhere. Respect every living being and non-living things as God. That's what Hinduism teaches you.

 Hinduism is referred to as Sanathana Dharma, the eternal faith. It is based on the practice of Dharma, the code of life. The most important aspect of Hinduism is being truthful to oneself. Hinduism has no monopoly on ideas.- It is open to all. Hindus believe in one God (not a personal one) expressed in different forms. For them, God is timeless and formless entity.
  
 Ancestors of today's Hindus believe in eternal truths and cosmic laws and these truths are opened to anyone who seeks them. But there is a section of Hindus who are either superstitious or turned fanatic to make this an organized religion like others. The British coin the word 'Hindu' and considered it as a religion.
 
 I said: 'Religions have become an MLM (multi-level- marketing) industry that has been trying to expand the market share by conversion. The biggest business in today's world is Spirituality. Hinduism is no exception'
 
 I am a Hindu primarily because it professes Non-violence - 'Ahimsa Paramo Dharma' - Non violence is the highest duty. I am a Hindu because it doesn't conditions my mind with any faith system.
 A man/ woman who change 's his/her birth religion to another religion is a fake and does not value his/her morals, culture and values in life. Hinduism was the first religion originated. Be proud of your religion and be proud of who you are.

One Good Deed For Another Makes The World Go Around

His name was  Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer.
One day, while trying to make  a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog.  He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

'I want to repay  you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.'

'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked.

'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly.

'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did.

Farmer Fleming's  son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of  Penicillin.

Years afterwards, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his  life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. his son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill.

The Value Of Forwarding Jokes

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery,
when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along onside of the road.
It looked like fine marble.
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in
the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl,
and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer,
he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road
and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill,
he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside,
leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough,
there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. 

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink
himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back
toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said.
'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street
and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen
out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

Soooo...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep
forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch,
guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact,
you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what,
and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered,
you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for,
guess what you get?

A forwarded joke. 

Anglish = Asian English; Tenjewberrymuds = ?

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2007.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:


Room Service (RS): "Morrin. - Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: " Rye .. Roon sirbees .. morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?"

G: "Uh..yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What?"

RS: "Ow July den? ... pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes. July sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes?"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!....Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No ... just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad! ?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy ... tea ... meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin w bodder on sigh and copy .... rye?"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."

AGING BENEFITS

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60, 70 and over!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm. 

09. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 

12. You sing along with elevator music.

13. Your eyes won't get much worse.

14. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 

15. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

16. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

CAUTION: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night...

OF UNITY AND DIVERSITY

Some Interesting thoughts....

Christianity ….One Christ, One Bible Religion…

You know the Latin Catholic will not enter Syrian Catholic Church.

These two will not enter Marthoma Church .

These three will not enter Pentecost Church .

These four will not enter Salvation Army Church.

These five will not enter Seventh Day Adventist Church ..

These six will not enter Orthodox Church.

These seven will not enter Jacobite church.

Like this there are 146 castes in Kerala alone for Christianity,

each will never share their churches for fellow Christians..!

One Christ, One Bible, One Jehova....


Now Muslims..! One Allah, One Quran, One Nebi....! Great Unity..

Among Muslims, Shia and Sunni kill each other in all the Muslim countries.

The religious riot in most Muslim countries is always between these two
sects.

The Shia will not go to Sunni Mosque.

These two will not go to Ahamadiya Mosque.

These three will not go to Sufi Mosque.

These four will not go to Mujahiddin mosque.

Like this it appears there are 13 castes in Muslims.

The American attack to the Muslim land of Iraq is fully supported by all the Muslim countries surrounding Iraq !


Hindus - 1,280 Religious Books, 10,000 Commentaries,

more than 100,000 sub-commentaries for these foundation books, 330
million gods, variety of Aacharyas, thousands of Rishis, hundreds of
languages...

Still everyone can worship in any temple.

Whether unity is for Hindus or in others…?

'UNITY IN DIVERSITY' IS EASIER THAN 'UNITY IN UNITY'

Interesting isn't it?

Too Much, Yet Too Little?

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

 

A Message by George Carlin:

 The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways,but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgement, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.



We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.

We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. 

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. 

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. 

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. 

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

 George Carlin

Read, Appreciate & We Do The Best We Can

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.



My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really
friendly. So I asked, ' Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined our car and sent us to the hospital! 
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, The Law of the Garbage Truck.

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.

As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they will dump it on you. Don ' t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.....


Love the people who
 treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

My Take: There are so many stories like this that remind us of our higher potential. I would like to add that learning to worship Divinity in the heart helps with this practice immensely and will bring much equanimity and peace in life. Worshipping through the heart stimulates the 4th Chakra, the Anahatha Chakra. This chakra has a special release valve that can dissipate negative emotions that may originate from ourselves or from others. Next time you find yourself in a stressful situation. Take a time out and worship the Divine in your heart, don't bother trying to analyze or solve the problems just yet, worship first, you feel the Divine's assistance immediately and clarity will dawn in consciousness.